I will include a link to the 2008 Laws of Australian Football so they can read the damn things because plainly, the pathetic and over-officious techical bullsh*t that these morons exhibited on the weekend was enough to drive a man to drinking, smoking and prescription drugs of very low quality.

David Hille was unlucky to be reported for what was essentially an unfortunate bump.  He kept his elbow tucked in when Robinson tried to duck under him to move in towards goal and was unfortunate to collect him in the head.  Free kick  – yes.  A report..  you have to be bloody kidding.

Then.. the follow up.  Seeing David Hille move towards Hampson and purposely headbutt Hampson right in front of Umpire 28   – NO NAMES! only to see Hille p*ssing himself laughing as he ran back to the centre circle as the recipient of a free kick.  Fair dinkum  – how the hell can that happen?  Hill initiated the contact with his head and if anything, should have been reported for a headbutt.  The umpire’s response to the cries of the Carlton players was that it didn’t matter if Hille initiated the contact…..he was still contacted high.  SACK that MORON immediately.

Add to these the ridiculous free kicks given for minor and on some occasions even no contact over the weekend.  I am sure you can remember some that caused you distress as you watched your team.  I know I was very distressed.  Shepherds off the ball, prohibited contact when some player lightly jabbed a forearm at an opponests biceps.  FFS.. what the hell sort of a game are we playing?  It’s not bloody footy I can guarantee you that.

Another rule that the Umpires so obviously don’t know… or they corruptly tried to stage manage the game with concerns a player running through the mark.

16.1.2 Protected Area
The Protected Area is a corridor which extends from 5 metres either side of the mark to 5 metres either side of, and a 5-metre radius behind, the Player with the football, as illustrated in Diagram 2. No Player shall enter and remain in the Protected Area unless the field Umpire calls “Play On” or the Player is accompanying or following within 5 metres of his or her opponent.

Read that phrase in bold you morons.  Following your opponent does not constitute a 50 m penalty.  How on earth can they NOT know this.  The question begs……

Speaking of 50m penalties.  Since when is shaking your finger in disagreement with a ridiculous decision worth a 50m penalty.  Adam Goodes, we feel your pain at Footytalk Central.  The umpies are too damn frigging precious – worse that frigging Gollum with the Ring of Power and it is ruining the game – not making it any better.  Geez you coloured cretins, grow up and umpire the game to the spirit of the game, not because you feel the need to take any smallest slight against your decision as a personal affront.

YOU people are ruining the sport we love, and Jeff Geischen and his bosses (aka AD and AA) are responsible.   Start umpiring to the spirit of the game because there are a lot more things riding on the outcome of a game of footy rather than your precious egos!

Goal umpiring!

Forgetting the gender of some of our more reputable goal umpires, there were a number of glaring errors that goal umps made over the weekend which could have had such a startling effect on those teams who were the recipients of the negative decision.

Jarrad Waite, Jay Neagle and Matthew Stokes all kicked goals that were obvious goals – obvious to EVERYONE who was watching either at the ground or on TV and these buffoons were ‘unable to see’.  Fair dinkum.  All three of them should be sent back to Upacumbuktah West for an eternity as these sorts of decisions are ludicrous.  Get it right or p*ss off.

I am getting sick of the gross incompetence of some umpires, and if people try to tell me that it is not gross incompetence, then there is only one other thing that it could possibly be.

Sort that one out for yourselves.

Going by the stats that count – ie – goals kicked, there have been 1072 goals kicked in the first 5 rounds.  Add to that the 4 bounces to start each quarter, and you end up with a total of 1232.  Given that some goals were kicked after a siren and didn’t require a bounce, the total of around 1225 would be closer than Gollum’s 1557.

To come out and say that there has been 1% of errant bounces recalled is misleading at best, and bordering on a lie because the maths just don’t add up.

Of course, Gollum may be counting the ‘around the ground’ bounces that occur after a scrimmage but these cannot be taken into account simply because the umpire does not have the ability to recall them because our umpies do not have their precious 10m circle to guide their decision on how bad their bounce actually was.  Even though the rule doesn’t state that the ball has to go out of the lines, it is considered a guide more than anything else.

So, in essence, there have been 40 out of 1230 bounces recalled which is still only 3%, which is still pretty bloody good anyway.

KEEP THE BOUNCE. – just don’t let Mark Fraser anywhere near it, or I will have to do another video.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I have very little affinity for the Bombre’s but fair dinkum, even I can accept that they were hashly done by with the ‘touched’ ball that Alwyn Davey kicked.

If you haven’t seen it, have a look on youtube for it but I have to say that from where I sat, in my lounge room some 800km away, it looked like a clear goal to me and even though the umpires followed their set routine and the field ump asked both the goal and both boundary umps whether they had seen a Port player touch the ball (as they had claimed), the simple fact is that they stuffed up on this occasion.

Not because they may have got it wrong, but because their due process is essentially flawed.

I heard Gieschan trying to justify the decision on SEN during the week, suggesting that the process was  followed because in the past, when these sorts of incidents have come up, they have had egg on their collective faces.

Essentially what happened was that Davey kicked the ball through the big sticks and everyone thought he had kicked the goal but the Port players claimed the ball was touched.  The field umpy consulted with the other 3 umpires to see if anyone saw the ball touched, which none said they did, and the score was eventually given as a point.

See something wrong in this scenario.

EVERYONE saw the ball kicked through the goals but NO-ONE  – NO-ONE saw the ball touched.

Ergo, does it not make sense that the score should have been a goal, given that none of the three umpires could definitely say that the ball was touched?

No – Gieschan’s boys decide to err on the side of caution and give it a point ONLY on the basis that some bloke claims it touched his shoulder on the way through.  See the problem here??  See the precedent that has been set here?  Imagine a shot from 50m out that sails through goal post high from NUTS Riewoldt and some geezer cretin like Nick Maxwell says it flipped his finger tips on the way through.  Because of precedent, the goal ump MUST consult all three umpires and because NONE of them can categorically say they saw it touched, the goal umpire is OBLIGATED to give it a point and the Saints miss the finals by .03%

I know that’s taking the problem to the nth degree here but that’s the problem with stupid rules and ridiculous interpretations.  Surely they should have erred on the side of caution and awarded a goal.

I hate Essendon as much as any other normal-thinking supporter, but they were jibbed on this one.